The mindset that keeps you poor
Mindset
By Andrei Merisca
May 29, 2025
We’ve been programmed to believe that wanting too much is dangerous. That dreaming of becoming better versions of ourselves leads to failure and disappointment.
We’re better off not trying too hard and not caring too much, because the game is rigged anyway. We’re better off doing the bare minimum, so we can at least reap the benefits of the illusion of trying.
And if the bare minimum is easy to do, we might as well wear the attitude of “look how little I’ve tried and still how far I’ve come” like a badge of honour.
Combine this attitude with a mild talent or intuition for your craft, and you’ve cracked the code to the game of life. Right? Wrong!
The worst part about this approach is that it gives you the perfect self-serving excuse: “If I got these results without trying hard, imagine what I could have achieved if I had actually tried.”
The painful truth is… you’ll never know.
The underground mentality
During my late teens and early twenties, I spent most of my time with a collective of talented and passionate underground techno DJs. They hosted their own parties, found venues, planned raves in forests near our hometown, invited more established DJs to play at our events, and so on.
It was awesome! It felt great to be part of a creative tribe. I used to help with graphic design for the flyers, and later, these relationships helped me kickstart my own underground party brand, Bitcharest, but more on that some other time.
The only thing that, looking back, I found off-putting about the collective mentality was their belief that trying too hard wasn’t cool. They would mock any other DJ trying to grow their career.
Promoting their music? Sending demos? Asking for gigs? Pathetic. Better to do nothing, lean on natural talent as a competitive edge, and mock others.
The message was clear: it’s cooler to stay invisible than to risk being seen (and failing).
The outcome of this mindset became obvious years later when, sadly, my DJ friends slowly faded into irrelevance. They could have achieved global success. They had passion, talent, and a love for music. But disguised as integrity and pride was fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough.
Shake it off
It took years of unlearning for me to shake off this mindset. It’s funny how a mind virus like “Trying too hard is not cool” can stick and negatively influence your life, especially during periods of high developmental change.
Here’s how this mindset can manifest in your life:
You start a lot of things but finish none
You care too much what others think or say
You wait for “the perfect time” to share your work
You secretly judge others
You tell yourself it’s principle, but most of the time, it’s just fear wearing a confident mask.
Giving thanks and stepping up
What helped me move past this was embodying a different mindset: the mindset of being thankful for the cards I’ve been dealt by trying to make the most of them. And never taking those cards for granted.
“To whom much is given, much is required.” — Luke 12:48
A funnier quote I found on this topic was from James Smith:
“There’s nothing sadder than a priest with a giant c*ck.”
Talent doesn’t take you far. Leveraging talent takes you far.
Conclusion
I used to think the game was rigged, that trying hard was for the naive. But the real trick is this: the game is rigged, and the only way to win is to rig it back in your favor. Show up. Try hard. Risk being seen. If you’ve been given something - a gift, a chance, a skill - don’t waste it hiding behind false modesty or a half-effort.
Because if you don’t, the only thing you’ll have in the end is a comfortable excuse.
And that’s the saddest thing of all.
We’ve been programmed to believe that wanting too much is dangerous. That dreaming of becoming better versions of ourselves leads to failure and disappointment.
We’re better off not trying too hard and not caring too much, because the game is rigged anyway. We’re better off doing the bare minimum, so we can at least reap the benefits of the illusion of trying.
And if the bare minimum is easy to do, we might as well wear the attitude of “look how little I’ve tried and still how far I’ve come” like a badge of honour.
Combine this attitude with a mild talent or intuition for your craft, and you’ve cracked the code to the game of life. Right? Wrong!
The worst part about this approach is that it gives you the perfect self-serving excuse: “If I got these results without trying hard, imagine what I could have achieved if I had actually tried.”
The painful truth is… you’ll never know.
The underground mentality
During my late teens and early twenties, I spent most of my time with a collective of talented and passionate underground techno DJs. They hosted their own parties, found venues, planned raves in forests near our hometown, invited more established DJs to play at our events, and so on.
It was awesome! It felt great to be part of a creative tribe. I used to help with graphic design for the flyers, and later, these relationships helped me kickstart my own underground party brand, Bitcharest, but more on that some other time.
The only thing that, looking back, I found off-putting about the collective mentality was their belief that trying too hard wasn’t cool. They would mock any other DJ trying to grow their career.
Promoting their music? Sending demos? Asking for gigs? Pathetic. Better to do nothing, lean on natural talent as a competitive edge, and mock others.
The message was clear: it’s cooler to stay invisible than to risk being seen (and failing).
The outcome of this mindset became obvious years later when, sadly, my DJ friends slowly faded into irrelevance. They could have achieved global success. They had passion, talent, and a love for music. But disguised as integrity and pride was fear. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of not being good enough.
Shake it off
It took years of unlearning for me to shake off this mindset. It’s funny how a mind virus like “Trying too hard is not cool” can stick and negatively influence your life, especially during periods of high developmental change.
Here’s how this mindset can manifest in your life:
You start a lot of things but finish none
You care too much what others think or say
You wait for “the perfect time” to share your work
You secretly judge others
You tell yourself it’s principle, but most of the time, it’s just fear wearing a confident mask.
Giving thanks and stepping up
What helped me move past this was embodying a different mindset: the mindset of being thankful for the cards I’ve been dealt by trying to make the most of them. And never taking those cards for granted.
“To whom much is given, much is required.” — Luke 12:48
A funnier quote I found on this topic was from James Smith:
“There’s nothing sadder than a priest with a giant c*ck.”
Talent doesn’t take you far. Leveraging talent takes you far.
Conclusion
I used to think the game was rigged, that trying hard was for the naive. But the real trick is this: the game is rigged, and the only way to win is to rig it back in your favor. Show up. Try hard. Risk being seen. If you’ve been given something - a gift, a chance, a skill - don’t waste it hiding behind false modesty or a half-effort.
Because if you don’t, the only thing you’ll have in the end is a comfortable excuse.
And that’s the saddest thing of all.
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© 2025 Andrei Merisca. All rights reserved.
© 2025 Andrei Merisca. All rights reserved.
© 2025 Andrei Merisca. All rights reserved.